Nothing earth-shattering....just some random ideas on how to create a situation where both kids are quiet at the same time, for an extended period of time:
1. Screaming, "Would you just shut the hell up for ten minutes?"
Pro: Feels damn good.
Con: Loud noises only seem to encourage louder noises.
2. Traditional "Silence Dance"
Pro: Even if it doesn't work (which it won't because I just made it up), you'll get some cardio.
Con: See the part in parentheses.
3. Ear plugs
Pro: Even if it just muffles the peace-piercing shrieks, you could be preventing a painful ear-drum implosion.
Con: Hmmmm. Gimme a minute.
4. Shame them into silence by taunting their cries.
Pro: It is good for infants to see and hear how ridiculous they're being.
Con: After about ten minutes it will rub your larynx raw. Quite frankly, I don't know how they do it.
5. Play Led Zeppelin II as loud as your speakers will allow.
Pro: Zep just makes any situation better. Though, Robert Plant's vocals and your children's howling may sound one-in-the-same.
Con: Depending on your system, you could damage to your woofers. No one wants that.
Admittedly, these are radical techniques. You want traditional? Go hug-up on Dr. Spock. But if you can tap in to your inner-narcissist and let your Selfish Flag fly, you'll find these tips quite helpful. You deserve this. Get some.
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