Twins Make People Crazy, Again.

"You have twins?!"

At some point this week, I’ll have a new post up about an hour-long trip that took three. But this will take some time…something I don’t have right now. However, I would like to share one interesting aspect of the trip that harkens back to an earlier topic discussed in this little corner of the world wide webernets: the odd, and sometimes disturbing lengths, people will go to view/interact/creepily be near your twins. During the last of a series of violent roadside baby eruptions, we happened upon a lovely gas station. And by lovely, I mean crawling with filth and operated by the most joyless human being who isn’t a baby crying in a mini-van. Poor Logan was freaking out and Jess had him in her arms trying to calm him. At about that same time another mini-van pulls up alongside. Out pops mom and son.

The kid walks over to a vacant lot adjoining the gas station and bends over to hurl.  After a few words of puke-related encouragement, mom looks over to us.  “Oh, that’s such a precious age,” she remarked, “enjoy every minute!” This ain’t one of ‘em, honey. 

“Bleachchhrrrgggggguhhhhh,” her 10-year old responded. She walked junior to the creeper bathroom on the outside of the gas station. As the boy purged his intestinal demons in the company of e-coli and condom dispensers, mom darted back to us. Once the woman realized there was another child inside the van, she damn-near blew a gasket. Her god-son’s brother-in-law, or some-such diluted relation also had twins. There she stood peering into the van to see Jackson, as her son heaved one step closer to death in a filthy bathroom and our eldest howled.

"Thanks, mom. Boil me. please?"

Yet again, the lure of the twins turned a seemingly normal person into an  annoying weirdo. Unlike a walk downtown or somewhere else, we were stuck there at the mercy of a nice person, afflicted by twin-in-brain disease. So we listened, politely nodded, and dreamed of peeling out of the gas station. Thankfully, Logan calmed down and we were on our way. Not sure how the kid made out.

Too bad he wasn’t a twin, mom woulda never left his side.